The importance of loving our babies

I have a theory. Babies deprived of love/cuddling early in life can develop major personality faults.

The reason I mention this is that there was another shooting yesterday. A 19-y-o boy shot a bunch of people in a mall in Omaha yesterday and then shot himself. He left a note saying he wanted to go out in style. Anybody who decides to kill innocent strangers is someone with no feelings of empathy. I think the term for that type of person is a sociopath. How does a boy get to that state? I bet he had a bad relationship with his parents.

I am not saying parents take the blame for everything. I am sure there are organic problems in the brain that can cause people to "go off". But my point is that hurting a baby early in life leaves a scar so deep that it can't be healed. Babies left to cry unattended learn not to trust the world. They learn that the world is a cold, uncaring place. Wouldn't this person be more likely to grow up angry and violent than a baby raised in a secure, loving environment?

I remember 2 toddlers who were adopted from a Russian orphanage. This might have been 10 years ago, perhaps in California, I don't exactly recall. The children had attachment problems and were very difficult to parent. The adoptive parents were too embarrassed to admit that they could not handle the kids, and decided to murder them instead, giving them oleander leaves and claiming the boys ate them when they were outside unsupervised. So tragic.

People running covert operations would be well-advised to hire as assassins young men who were abandoned by their family. They are the ones who will be willing to kill strangers on orders from someone higher up.

What about ladies who have to go to work when their baby is 6 weeks old and needs to sublet that portion of their baby's day to hired help? I don't know that is such a good idea. I suspect data may show that babies thrust into daycare at such a young age may have problems with bonding and anxiety later in life.

Which brings me full circle to baby-wearing. My affinity for baby-wearing is not simply because I like having a baby hanging off me for most of the day. It is the easiest way for me to be sure that my new baby is receiving the cuddling/security that he needs to grow dependent and bonded to his primary caregiver, me. He can then grow independent later, when that is developmentally appropriate.

My cough is going away

I don't know if you remember that I complained that the kids gave me a cold when I came home from the hospital with the baby? I was never able to throw it off, and in the last 2 weeks things got worse and worse. I was coughing all the time. Poor little A would be sleeping on my chest and he had to deal with me going through loud coughing spasms right by his ear. I was hoping to avoid antibiotics because I really did *not* want to have thrush this time, like I had with my last 2 kids. There is no good treatment for thrush that I know of, or at least none that worked for me.

So I complained to my OB yesterday and they had me come in so they could listen to my lungs and stuff. I obtained a prescription for a Z-pack and took the first 2 pills yesterday afternoon. This morning when I woke up it was like a miracle had occurred. I felt 75% better. Yay! And my sore left breast is suddenly better, too. I must have had a low level of mastitis in the duct sinuses behind the nipple. Latch ons felt SO painful on that side. And now they feel normal. So hopefully this will take care of things for us without causing bad side-effects with yeast/fungus. I can hope.

I'm still learning

I'm still learning about nursing and taking care of babies too. Yes. After 6 babies and 19 years. Here is my newest stuff.

The picture above shows me trying to perfect my use of the Maya Wrap. I have been going onto the website called TheBabyWearer.com to find more creative ways to use the baby carriers I already have. Little A loves to be carried, so he seems to appreciate it. At least he cries a lot less than when he is put down between feedings. I read that it is best to keep the baby as high up as possible, and the rings as high up without them being directly on the shoulder. I must be doing something right, because I was never able, with any of my prior kids, to get them in the upright position in a ring sling. Little A loves being upright and he settles down so nicely whenever I am able to do it, so it is worth the effort for me. And it is easier on my back/shoulders. This is an old-style Maya wrap. No padding. But it works great and I feel so frugal using the same carriers for child after child.

The Moby Wrap is great too. I used it yesterday for my first LONG walk. I used to go for long walks, 1+ hours, through the hills where I live. I stopped after the second trimester. It was so great to get out yesterday, the weather was sunny and brisk. And there were a bunch of people out decorating their houses, so it was particularly fun. The Moby was good for the long walk because it was on both shoulders. I did find out something on that website that ticked me off about the Moby wrap. The moms said that it doesn't work too well for babies over 15 pounds because the wrap is made of stretchy material (t-shirt type material) and it sags. I am bummed to hear this because I SPECIFICALLY bought it to carry a heavier child because it goes on both shoulders. I guess I should have done more investigating beforehand. :-(

This picture also shows my newest thing. I saw on that website one lady who mentioned that she wears Old Navy tank tops under her shirts so that when she breastfeeds, she lifts up the outer top and pulls the tank down below that breast. A light bulb went on when I read that. Having my cold tummy hanging out all winter while bfing is a major pet peeve of mine. I ran down to Old Navy Saturday night and found that the tanks were on sale for 2 for $10. I got 6. You can see the long tank top below my other top and I am so happy now with the breastfeeding. This will help when I have to NIP (nurse in public) as well. I am getting less and less sore now, so I will probably get into more situations were NIP comes up. The tank top gives me SO much more confidence to do that. That way people walking behind me in the grocery store won't get a gander at my bare ribcage in the frozen foods aisle. Brrrr!