Let me explain what I mean by that. I have been working harder lately at all the areas of my life that are meaningful to me.
For example, I have begun putting a lot more effort into menu planning and cooking these past 3 weeks. Planning ahead eliminates the stressful panic that sets in around 3 or 4 in the afternoon when there is nothing planned or thawed for dinner. On Sundays, I take out my favorite cookbooks or recipe collections and plan the week. I make sure that Tuesdays and Thursdays (jujitsu nights) have some sort of crock pot or casserole dinner. The other nights can have more labor-intensive dishes. All the ingredients not already in the house go on the shopping list. And I have been trying new recipes, some of which have turned out to be really good. Last night was Chinese Hot and Sour Soup with Tofu, along with a Chinese Chicken Salad. This was made using the leftovers from the Crock Pot Chicken Curry (with rice) the night before. Sunday's dinner turned out absolutely wonderful. I found a recipe that I had clipped out of Family Circle magazine years ago for Vegetable Quesadillas. To make this, I sauteed chopped fresh jalapeno pepper with onions, added zucchini, tomato and corn. Then placed the vegetables onto flour tortillas topped with kosher cheddar and string cheese, placed back into the pan to toast both sides. The flavor combination was amazing. The boys had plain cheese quesadillas. And last week I recall planning a crock pot beef night (chuck roast), followed by spaghetti night using the leftover shredded beef instead of ground beef. It was the first time trying that, and it worked. Prior to this I had been having taco night to use up leftover beef or turkey from the crock pot, and it is so nice to have some additional recipes. I also found a nice turkey/sausage jambalaya (kosher) that is another way to use up those leftovers. And think of how happy the boys were to come home from school and see 8 custard cups full of cherry kosher jello. It's the little things, ya know?
Another major push is to give the TV some time off. The boys are all in school until 3 now (except for the baby, of course). There is homework to do in the afternoon, and if they come home and run straight to their TV shows, it is very hard to motivate them to come downstairs to do their homework. Not to mention the worry about TV watching causing/worsening ADD. Television shows are much more fast-paced and animated than real life, so childrens' brains get bored with the real world if they spend too much time in front of the television. The little ones don't have homework yet this week, but I have been getting out the boxes of toys stored in the garage for them to play with. I have my toys on a rotation, so I can take out "new" toys from the garage now and then and put away old toys until they become new again. Yesterday I took out a 4-year-old Rokenbok set. I forgot how fun this thing was. There are a bunch of remote control trucks that go around picking up these little balls and there are erector-set-like components that can be put together to shunt the balls onto conveyor belts and gutters/dumpers. Above is a picture from the net showing many of the toys we have. Amazingly, the toys still work. The boys are enthralled. And they are forced to work together cooperatively instead of flopping next to each other on the couches.
Yesterday was also my day to do emails/calls/letters to the school. I gave them day 1 as a free pass. It was day 2 yesterday, though, and it was time to check to see if the teachers/counselors were implementing all of the changes we worked out for my son for his 4th grade school year. Here is the email I wrote to his teacher.
Dear Mr. S***,
I would like to schedule a time to meet with you to discuss R***. There were a lot of changes to his IEP in June just before school let out. And he also got a new diagnosis from his Kaiser doctor, Nonverbal Learning Disorder. This learning disability is often misdiagnosed as ADD.
I would love an opportunity to go over the hallmarks of Nonverbal Learning Disorder with you, along with the accommodations and modifications that are listed in R***'s IEP. And hopefully we can come up with a plan so that we can help R*** to achieve his full potential for learning this year.
Here is what I wrote to the special ed teacher.
Dear Mrs. M***,
I expect we will be meeting soon because there will be an IEP meeting to discuss the vocational rehab assessment that was done in July.
There is a nice article online that discusses Nonverbal Learning Disorder as it relates to behavior in the classroom. Nonverbal Learning Disorder is often misdiagnosed as ADD. So it might be helpful to read about it, as you will be spending a lot of time this year working with R***. R***'s case is severe. His verbal IQ, as you may recall, is gifted (132), and his nonverbal IQ is only 14 points above mental retardation (84). So when he appears to be inattentive, it may be an inability to remember multi-step directions (having trouble getting started on an assignment), or a strategy of avoidance of work that is truly overwhelming for him conceptually.
He has continued pulling out his eyelashes this summer, as you will note when you see him. He did so mostly when attending summer school and the Score! tutoring service. I will contact the school psychologist for ways we can help him with that. I believe that she suggested that he be given a stress ball for use at his desk, but I don't believe that has happened yet.
Please contact me at your convenience.
And I wrote this email to the school psychologist.
Dear Ms. C***,
Hi! I hope you had a good summer. R*** had fun, but he has continued to pull out his eyelashes, mostly at summer school and while attending the Score! tutoring service. He never got a stress ball to use, as far as I know. Are there any available now? Can R*** have some counseling sessions with you to help him with this? I would like to get R*** help this year so we have a better year. I think the bullying last year bothered him a lot. I found some evidence at home that I would like to talk to you about. I think he requires social training in addition to one-on-one counseling in order to benefit from his education. I hope this help can be obtained for R*** sooner rather than later. Thank you for your help.
She called me back within the hour, during which time I re-read his IEP notes from last year, and I saw that he was already granted, in writing, a promise for a psychological work-up and a speech-therapy workup (social skills), in addition to the occupational therapy assessment that he received this summer. She also gave me the heads-up on the OT results. He *did* qualify for therapy for his fine motor (bad handwriting). I am actually really happy with the paperwork that we came up with last June. It covers all the bases I want covered for him at this point. And it includes his new diagnosis. And even though they left in ADD as his primary diagnosis, the accommodations/modifications are the same as he would be getting for Nonverbal Learning Disorder, so that's fine. And I am not saying that there is not an ADD component to it, but since NVLD is often mistaken for ADD, there is no certainty that he has a valid case of ADD. And I can guarantee you, as his Mother, that his type of ADD would not benefit from medication. I just know. And that's too bad for the school staff who urged me to medicate him in our meeting last May when they denied he had NVLD and insisted he had only ADD. I know that they wanted me to start him on medication so that the problem would Go Away. Well, guess what. We are not going away, and R*** is going to need services and therapy and help because he has special needs. Oh, and the school counselor agreed that the jujitsu was a good thing for R*** and that he should stay in it.
Additionally, I am continuing to use my Palm Treo daily planner to list all the things I have going on. There is so much to do nowadays. Today is the school uniform sale. Tomorrow I am meeting the Mom's Club in the park while R*** is at tutoring. Sunday R*** and his younger bro A***start Hebrew School again. The week after A*** starts piano lessons. Gosh, is there anything I have forgotten? I hope not.
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