Not too many pics of myself lying around

I was asked to post a pic of myself. I searched and searched and couldn't find anything from my own camera back through November. Then I remembered that my SIL sent me a CD of pics from her camera. She took this pic of me on Thanksgiving morning. I had made the toast for the stuffing and I was shredding it into a bowl. She was joking that I had made too much toast for everybody. I think I used 2 entire loaves.

My Little Leaguer

Here is my middle child, age 7, doing what he loves best. He loves climbing trees and playing baseball. Can you believe how big he has gotten?

Perseverence and optimism

I had a conversation with my XH this weekend at the Little Leage field that caused me to think. He was going on and on about the state of the world and the war. I nodded and made noises like, "hmmmm" and "uh huh". Then he said that the young men that go off to war don't understand that it's not all that glamorous. I said, "yes, being killed means that you are under the ground. That is not good." He said that there were worse things than dying. He said, "how would you like to lose both legs?" I disagreed on that point and said that I would rather lose both legs and stay alive than be dead.

Although that was the end of the discussion, I though about it later. My father is an amputee. He lost his left leg 4 inches below the knee in 1979 due to a motorcycle accident. I remember visiting him in the hospital at Kaiser in northern California. I took the bus across town by myself at age 13. It took the doctors a while to take off his foot. I think they hoped that the leg might re-vascularize and hang on. Eventually it was taken off. Then my dad had to get skin grafts removed from his thighs to put over the stump. After this healed he was fitted with a prosthesis. I remember he told me that he was sweating a lot in the hospital because he was going through withdrawl from painkillers that he received in the hospital. He must have been in there for a couple of months. Over time he learned to walk with his new leg. He put up with the pain as the tender skin on his stump developed blisters and callouses. He gave up piloting small Cessnas and taking me roller skating. He bought a van that was empty inside and set about fitting it up as a camper. He built a sink, installed a table/bed and a refrigerator. He got involved in astronomy clubs and camped up on mountaintops at night with the other astronomers.

I think watching him adapt and thrive in his own way in his new circumstances taught me that things are not always as bad as they seem. And to be grateful for what I have. Here is a picture of my dad taken at Thanksgiving 2006. He is in his mid-70s and is still going strong.

Waiting a little longer to ovulate

I was hoping to have a later ovulation this month because of coming off of the injects cycle, and I'm getting my wish. My big pg last year was the second month following injects. That ovulation was in the mid to late range for me and resulted in the strongest pg yet. The really early ones tend to make so little hcg that they hardly register on the tests. I think the follicles are exposed to progesterone on the prior cycle and that is not good for them. So I'm not at all bothered to sit here waiting for things to get cranked up.

Super busy weekend planned. Opening day and picture day tomorrow for Little League. And today I'm driving 2 hours each way to pick up my daughter from UCLA. She is coming home this weekend because our cell phone contract is up, lol. She has been dying to change carriers. She says that our Cingular service is no good in the dorms, and that her friends on Verizon have better reception. It's pretty important because nobody has land phones in the dorms anymore. Just high speed internet and cell phones. I want to upgrade my Palm Treo. I have really liked my 650, but I want one of the newer ones with a better camera. I often forget to bring my regular camera places and I want good quality phone pics.

Team Mom for Little League

I have been scrambling today to get things organized for the Little League team. Talk about getting my mind off of other things. Here is a copy of the email I sent to the families today:
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Families,

Here is the latest update on Little League stuff:

1) This Saturday is the Opening Day party and Picture Day. Have your player in full, clean uniform and lined up at the photography area by 10:55am. The pancake breakfast starts at 8am. The mayor will throw the first pitch. There will be a dunk tank, parade of teams and guest speakers. The ceremonies begin at 11:30am. This will be at Travis Ranch Field. Here is more picture day info that was sent to me by the team mom leader: " EYLLL will provide, at no cost, to each player, one 3-1/5x5 photo, four wallet size photos, one 5x7 team picture and one photo button. If no additional photos are ordered, only the top portion of the photo envelope needs to be filled out. If additional photos are ordered, they must be paid for on Picture Day. Each player must have an envelope to turn in at the photo tent. This tent is white and will be located on the grass between the Single A right field fence and the Majors first base dugout. After your parents/players have checked their envelopes at the tent, you should gather them together, group them shortest to tallest, and see me at the gate next to the Majors first base dugout." " We also have a booth where kids can design their own rhinestone tee shirts or hats. (A portion of the cost will be donated back to EYLLL.) Girls or Moms can also bring their jeans and have them decorated with rhinestones as well."

2) Cookie Dough forms are due to me by Friday March 2 at practice. I need to turn them in to the League the following day. The team mom leader clarified to me that "No one has to sell cookie dough. Everyone has already paid their $25 at registration. If parents want to earn their $25 fundraising money back, they need to sell a minimum of 5 tubs of cookie dough at $12 per tub ($60). They will keep $25 and the remaining $35 comes back to EYLLL. Please make checks payable to EYLLL. More tubs may be sold, however the entire $12 per tub comes back to our League. Have parents turn in their order form and money to you (team mom), then, you need to complete the Final Order Sheet and turn that into me on March 3rd. When you return their cookie dough, also give them back their order form so they know who their cookie dough goes to."

3. We, as a team, will be assigned one weekday and one Saturday this season for Snack Shack duty. We will need 3 volunteers for a weekday shift and 4-5 volunteer workers for a Saturday. We will also have trash day duties assigned to us by the league. If we do not provide enough volunteers, our manager will be pulled from the field to work. Here is a recent update regarding this. :"Snack Shack: Please remember that your parents are responsible for their Snack Shack duty. If they choose to contact a worker (either paid or community service), they are responsible for that worker showing up and working the entire shift. I would recommend that paid workers be paid at the end of their shift. Keep in mind that paid workers need to be at least 16 years old and, if earning community service, at least 14 years old. If you have 14 or 15 year old workers, at least one adult must be present in the Snack Shack. No one 13 or under is allowed in the Snack Shack." If you know any teenagers who need community service, keep them in mind. Also, there is a list of paid workers that we can call, and I have the list (Mary Ann). They cost $25 per shift.

4) The following documents are due on Saturday, March 3rd. There will be a table set up on that day to accept the following (from the team mom): Medical Releases, Player Reward Form, Sponsor Forms, Cookie Dough Final Order Sheets. I will also take Golf Registration forms that day as well.

5) Golf Tournament: There is a golf tournament at the end of March at the Black Gold Golf Course. Non-golfers can attend the dinner only. There are hole sponsorships available for advertising. Also, they need silent auction gifts, at least 1 from each team. Some teams have done theme baskets.

6) Game Schedule: I have not received this yet. I am expecting this by email shortly.

7) Team sponsor: If you know anybody who might want to sponsor the team, it is a nice opportunity and they will get a team plaque at the end of the season. Minimum sponsorship is $150, and if we do not find a sponsor, we will have to collect this fee from all of the parents on the team.

8) Team Banner: This has been ordered and the cost is around $90. I will pay this and I will need to collect the money back from the team parents later, along with $ to cover coaches gifts for the end of the season and the silent auction gift basket.

9) Team Parties: It is customary to have a couple of team parties during the season and an end-of-the-year party. I am thinking Lamppost Pizza, but I am open to other ideas.

10) EYLLL Night at Cal State Fullerton: The date has not been set but it is a fun opportunity for the boys to see a college baseball game.

11) After-game snacks. We can rotate these duties. The league also wants you to know that if you do not wish to bring actual snacks, you can purchase one Snack Shack token for each child at $1.50 each (12 kids on our team). They want these purchased as we go along, and not in a huge bunch at the beginning of the season, as they don't want to run out of the wooden tokens.

Thank you for reading this LONG email. :D

Call me with any questions, or reply by email.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whew!

There was a minimum day at school today for my 7-y-o, and he has been wanting to go to the Japanese Teppan Grill near us because that was his reward for a good report card last time. So I am stuffed! He loves the way they toss the food at him. :D

I'm still on the run. I need to leave in 15 minutes to pick him up from Hebrew School.

Keeping busy

I'm trying to keep things busy over here. I need to keep my mind off of you-know-what. To that end, I'm going strong as Team Mom for my 7-y-o's Little League Coach Pitch team. I ordered the team banner this week. He looks SO cute in his little uniform and games start in March. I'm giving him time off from after-school tutoring at Score! in order to make time for the practices. It's working fine and he is doing well in school.

I'm working on Tuesday and Thursday mornings in the office, doing medical reports/paperwork for my DH's medical practice. I have been finding that there are some things that were allowed to slide over my extended maternity leave. The large silk plants in the reception area hadn't been dusted in years. And ditto for under the desks and such. Unacceptable. The cleaning crew is going to be replaced. I'm also hanging new pictures on the walls and clearing out the boxes of archives that have collected in odd places. Things that nobody else wants to take responsibility for.

I'm sticking to my exercise schedule 3 or 4 times per week. Either a long walk up and down hills pushing Joseph or a half-hour on the Stairmaster.

I'm going to services more often at the Synagogue. My attendance had slipped lately. I think my faith has slipped. I know I have been blessed with 5 healthy children and it is silly to lose sight of that. But loss after loss is so depressing, it is also easier to blame and to hold anger than to meekly accept a knife in the heart month after month. On the other hand, I know it is good for the kids to go there. Good socially and spiritually. So I need to forget my own problems and put the kids first. And hopefully by doing so I can come up out of my sadness a little.

Senator Barack Obama

I was a zombie yesterday. My old friend from UCLA days called to chat (until 1am). It turns out that she is good friends with Barack Obama. After she graduated from UCLA she went on to Harvard Law School, and served on the Harvard Law Review while Barack Obama was president of the Harvard Law Review. They became friends. So she is scrambling around doing lots of stuff for his campaign. The fun part is that she called back today to see if my daughter, who is now attending UCLA, wants to volunteer for the campaign to help out at rallies and such. I called DD and she wants to very badly, but she is busy this coming Tuesday. So I forwarded her information and maybe she can help out at a future event. It is all very exciting. This lady has led much more of a jet-setting life than me. She goes to England to tour the set of Harry Potter during filming. I think she likes to bounce ideas off of me because I lead a quiet suburban life. I'm not even a democrat. ;-)

Here are pictures of my friend, the female of the group, with Senator Barack Obama taken last weekend in Sprinfield, Illinois when he announced his candidacy for President of the United States.

Fitness

I am trying to focus, yet again, on regaining my health/body/weight. I gained the same 3 pounds back last month with the injects. I got a home blood pressure cuff last week, which is fun to play with. I have been taking everybody's blood pressure, including the kids. They love it. My blood pressure is good. Then I decided to check my blood sugar a few days in a row because I remember reading that the prednisone can change blood sugar readings, and I had some insulin intolerance show up at the 2-hour mark on my glucose/insulin test last year. My fasting blood sugar was 92 this morning, which was OK, but it was 98 yesterday morning, which is 2 points away from pre-diabetes. The problem probably came from the fact that I had a Jelly Belly Sours feeding frenzy the night before. I think I need to give up candy. Or find a way to make sure that I never eat more than 5 pieces at one sitting. That is hard, though. It's like trying to eat one potato chip.

I went for a really long walk with Joseph in the jogging stroller yesterday and tomorrow I will get on the Stairmaster. I read that being in good shape makes your muscles more permeable to insulin/glucose. I have to do this. I need to keep my health and my body shape because it helps me to feel happy. I want to be a healthy, vital mother to my kids. I get down and sad if I feel out of shape and blah. I hope I can keep it up through all phases of my cycle. And let the other chips fall where they may. I need to focus on my long-term health and happiness.

Another loss :(

I had convinced myself that all of those hpt lines on the Accuclears were evaps, even though they were much darker than the prior evaps I had seen on that brand. I know differently now because I passed membranes last night. I showed them to DH and he agreed. It was a triangle of tissue about 2 inches by 1.5 inches, with on corner more magenta colored and more cream colored on the other side. Typical membranes. The one part that has me baffled is that my beta was negative. I know it was a very weak pregnancy, but the beta should have shown somewhere between 4 and 5, with the kind of hpt lines I had been getting. But whatever. It was another pg that was going nowhere. What else is new, right?

First post, I hope this works :D

This is my first attempt at posting on my new "outside" blog. I hope this works. Thank you for checking on me here.