Perseverence and optimism

I had a conversation with my XH this weekend at the Little Leage field that caused me to think. He was going on and on about the state of the world and the war. I nodded and made noises like, "hmmmm" and "uh huh". Then he said that the young men that go off to war don't understand that it's not all that glamorous. I said, "yes, being killed means that you are under the ground. That is not good." He said that there were worse things than dying. He said, "how would you like to lose both legs?" I disagreed on that point and said that I would rather lose both legs and stay alive than be dead.

Although that was the end of the discussion, I though about it later. My father is an amputee. He lost his left leg 4 inches below the knee in 1979 due to a motorcycle accident. I remember visiting him in the hospital at Kaiser in northern California. I took the bus across town by myself at age 13. It took the doctors a while to take off his foot. I think they hoped that the leg might re-vascularize and hang on. Eventually it was taken off. Then my dad had to get skin grafts removed from his thighs to put over the stump. After this healed he was fitted with a prosthesis. I remember he told me that he was sweating a lot in the hospital because he was going through withdrawl from painkillers that he received in the hospital. He must have been in there for a couple of months. Over time he learned to walk with his new leg. He put up with the pain as the tender skin on his stump developed blisters and callouses. He gave up piloting small Cessnas and taking me roller skating. He bought a van that was empty inside and set about fitting it up as a camper. He built a sink, installed a table/bed and a refrigerator. He got involved in astronomy clubs and camped up on mountaintops at night with the other astronomers.

I think watching him adapt and thrive in his own way in his new circumstances taught me that things are not always as bad as they seem. And to be grateful for what I have. Here is a picture of my dad taken at Thanksgiving 2006. He is in his mid-70s and is still going strong.